One of my favourite pictures at the moment is this one. There are plenty more on the Natural History Museum site
One of my favourite pictures at the moment is this one. There are plenty more on the Natural History Museum site
The next time you bite into a burger, do not be surprised if you taste the rainbow. American farmers have been secretly feeding rejected Skittles to their cows as an alternative to grass or corn. The great Skittles cowspiracy was brought to light after thousands of Red Skittles, bereft of their signature S, were found scattered across a rural road in Wisconsin. The X File was closed relatively quickly as experts asserted that these Skittles were likely en route to a cattle troth.
Although Skittles are packed with high fructose corn syrup, as so many foods are, they are nonetheless cheaper than the real thing and surprisingly more nutritious, at least according to some experts. Joseph Watson, owner of United Livestock Commodities, said that sweets like Skittles have “a higher ratio of fat [than] actually feeding them straight corn.” Skittles also may be a greener feed product than corn, simply because they would have otherwise ended up in a landfill. Instead, these candies, edible but not nearly up to the mass production standards of a multinational corporation, are converted into animal mass, meat and fat.
These particular Red Skittles, at first perplexing, were investigated and explained by local authorities. “The Skittles were confirmed to have fallen off the back of a truck,” wrote the Dodge County Sheriff’s Office. “The truck was a flatbed pickup and the Skittles were in a large box. Due to it raining at the time, the box got wet and gave way allowing the Skittles to spill out on the roadway.” While the average consumer has no idea that they may be eating candy-fed sirloin, this practice has been ongoing for several years. The use of this diet is believed to increased in 2012, when corn prices increased dramatically. This particular absurdity of growing corn to make the candy to feed the cows to make the burgers, while entertaining, is another sign that our food system has become disconnected from natural cycles.
To the citizens of the United States of America, in light of your failure to elect a competent President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective today.
Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II resumes monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories. Except Utah, which she does not fancy.
Your new prime minister (The Right Honourable Theresa May, MP for the 97.8% of you who have, until now, been unaware there’s a world outside your borders) will appoint a minister for America. Congress and the Senate are disbanded. A questionnaire circulated next year will determine whether any of you noticed.
To aid your transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:
There is no such thing as “US English.” We’ll let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take account of the reinstated letter ‘u’.
You should learn to distinguish English and Australian accents. It really isn’t that hard. English accents are not limited to cockney, upper-class twit or Mancunian (Daphne in Frasier). Scottish dramas such as ‘Taggart’ will no longer be broadcast with subtitles.You must learn that there is no such place as Devonshire in England. The name of the county is “Devon.” If you persist in calling it Devonshire, all American States will become “shires” e.g. Texasshire Floridashire, Louisianashire.
You should relearn your original national anthem, “God Save The Queen”, but only after fully carrying out task 1.
You should stop playing American “football.” There’s only one kind of football. What you call American “football” is not a very good game. The 2.1% of you aware there is a world outside your borders may have noticed no one else plays “American” football. You should instead play proper football. Initially, it would be best if you played with the girls. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which is similar to American “football”, but does not involve stopping for a rest every two seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like nancies) You should stop playing baseball. It’s not reasonable to host event called the ‘World Series’ for a game which is not played outside of America. Instead of baseball, you will be allowed to play a girls’ game called “rounders,” which is baseball without fancy team stripe, oversized gloves, collector cards or hotdogs.
You will no longer be allowed to own or carry guns, or anything more dangerous in public than a vegetable peeler. Because you are not sensible enough to handle potentially dangerous items, you need a permit to carry a vegetable peeler.
July 4th is no longer a public holiday. November 2nd will be a new national holiday. It will be called “Indecisive Day.”
All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and it is for your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean. All road intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left. At the same time, you will go metric without the benefit of conversion tables. Roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.
Learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips. Fries aren’t French, they’re Belgian though 97.8% of you (including the guy who discovered fries while in Europe) are not aware of a country called Belgium. Potato chips are properly called “crisps.” Real chips are thick cut and fried in animal fat. The traditional accompaniment to chips is beer which should be served warm and flat.
The cold tasteless stuff you call beer is actually lager. Only proper British Bitter will be referred to as “beer.” Substances once known as “American Beer” will henceforth be referred to as “Near-Frozen Gnat’s Urine,” except for the product of the American Budweiser company which will be called “Weak Near-Frozen Gnat’s Urine.” This will allow true Budweiser (as manufactured for the last 1000 years in Pilsen, Czech Republic) to be sold without risk of confusion.
The UK will harmonise petrol prices (or “Gasoline,” as you will be permitted to keep calling it) for those of the former USA, adopting UK petrol prices (roughly $6/US gallon, get used to it).
Learn to resolve personal issues without guns, lawyers or therapists. That you need many lawyers and therapists shows you’re not adult enough to be independent. If you’re not adult enough to sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist, you’re not grown up enough to handle a gun.
Please tell us who killed JFK. It’s been driving us crazy.
Tax collectors from Her Majesty’s Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all revenues due (backdated to 1776).
Thank you for your co-operation.
This Public Service Announcement Has Been Brought To You By Your Friends At C.O.G. Inc.
We highlighted Paul Vreeland’s System Rescue Toolkit a few months ago, but now he’s built a new, “lite” version that packs most of the same tools and can automatically run against and repair common Windows problems for you. If you liked the original, you’ll love this.
The beauty of the original was that it offered a number of great utilities to help you troubleshoot your system if you had PC problems, without a whole bunch of trial versions, bloated utilities, or “we found X errors now call me to fix your computer” demos. The Lite version dials some of those tools back and makes the scan and repair process automatic, so you can use the toolkit, walk away and grab a bite to eat, and, hopefully, come back to a repaired and functioning Windows system—or at least some more information about what you should do next if the toolkit couldn’t fix your problems. He notes:
The Lite version of my toolkit runs all of the autoFIX steps from “Automatic Mode” found in the full version. You do not have to be a techie to use it! No technical expertise is necessary because all the repair tasks are run automatically! These repair steps include:
- CPU/Cooling Test
- Memory Test
- Hard Drive Test
- Windows Security Centre Check
- Anti-Virus and Anti-Malware Scans
- Reset Windows Networking
- System File Checker
- Disk Cleanup and Defrag
Best of all, it’s completely free (although Paul does accept donations to maintain the project.) Hit the link below to try it out yourself.
AiO-SRT Lite | Paul Bryan Vreeland
The Pepper figure is here. Sideshow have a preview video for you to see just what a good job they’ve made.
If anybody can remember the BBC shows she did then you will certainly remember hey Mickey. Anybody know where a copy of them can be found?
They were played to death in our house when we recorded them at the time.
It looks like the girl in the picture I have as my site logo is getting even more popular. Below is an article taken from the blog on Sideshowtoy’s talking to the artist behind “Pepper” and the project they will be embarking on together.
If you’ve been a fan of pop culture art for any amount of time there’s a good chance that you’ve heard the name Stanley Lau. Better known as “Artgerm” across countless boards and forums, particularly DeviantArt, Stanley is an artist with an unparalleled eye and ability for creating masterpieces from pop culture and comic icons that we know and love.
Sideshow and Stanley have worked together on some great projects together in the past, but this time around we’re doing something a little different – we’d like to introduce you to Pepper.
Pepper is an original character that Stanley created and Sideshow is extremely pleased to announce our first Pepper statue and Premium Art Print.
To learn more about Pepper we went straight to the source, Stanley himself:
Can you tell us a little about the Pepper Project and how the character came to be?
Pepper was first created in 2004, as a means for me to explore different art styles with a unified subject. Back then I was running an advertising and design studio as the Senior Art Director, and it was my job to inspire my graphic designers with different art directions for various clients. Therefore it was a rather important factor for me to be very sensitive to different artistic trends and visual approaches. Unfortunately, I had very little chance to draw and paint with my design oriented projects, so I decided to initiate a personal project that can keep myself going as an artist and consistently expand my comfort zone to be more adaptable. I named her Pepper mainly because the name of my studio at the time was Paprika, and I wanted her mildly “hot and spicy.”
Does she have a backstory?
Honestly, I didn’t give her a backstory when she was first created. In fact, she didn’t even have a fixed look aside from her mega headphones – which have become the iconic element that her fans recognize. Nevertheless, I’ve had a few discussions with my friends a few years ago to give her a possible backstory. Loosely speaking she is an Inter-Dimensional Super Agent who travels to different universes to either deliver, or acquire, important information and items that help build the arc of her story. Whichever world she teleports herself to (via listening to the music of that particular world), she adopts the look of that world visually. It helps to explain why she looks different every time!
Basically Pepper is a cheerful, outspoken, and outgoing person. She has a great sense of humour along with being agile, witty, righteous,…and a kung-fu master.
Where else has she been presented before (magazines, art blogs, etc)?
A few years ago I launched a Pepper art contest on deviantArt to invite artists all over the world to create their own interpretation of Pepper. I received a ton of entries and hand selected many of them to build and print the first Pepper Project art book. All of the entries can still be viewed here – http://pepperproject.deviantart.com/gallery/
She has also been featured on the cover of publications like ImagineFX, Advanced Photoshop, and Corel Painter magazine.
Is this the first time Pepper will be presented as a 3D statue?
I’ve been approached by other toy companies to create a Pepper statue, but nothing has ever felt right or come to fruition before. I suppose it’s been really hard to translate my art into a 3D form, so yea, this will be the very first official Pepper statue!
How has your experience been collaborating on her with Sideshow so far?
Knowing that Pepper is an unknown character to the comic and statue world, I wanted to first establish a good working relationship with Sideshow and build the trust before pushing forward. Fortunately, it has been a joyride and the creative freedom that I have been receiving from them is inspiring. I must say that the digital sculpt was nothing less than extraordinary. I’m really looking forward to our future collaborations as well!