New UK Concert
As I listen to Gary Numan (nearly) all the time, his recent stuff as well as his old, I thought it was about time I went to see him in concert. What makes this concert extra special is the inclusion of John Foxx (with The Maths) playing as well. Not to be missed at all. Got my ticket as soon as the fans were allowed to by them, which was a couple of days before general sale. Had to make sure I got mine.
The new Gary Numan album, entitled Savage, is due for release in August through the BMG label. Gary is once again working with Ade Fenton as producer. For those of you interested in after the progress of the album more intimately you can subscribe to Gary’s Pledge Music campaign which gives you unique, inside access to progress at every level, via text updates, audio updates and video updates and the chance to hear new music from early piano demo’s, through early production and guide vocals to the fully produced but pre mixed versions prior to the mastered versions that will be on the finished album.
Song titles confirmed so far are: ‘Bed Of Thorns’, ‘I Heard A Voice’, ‘Mercy’, ‘If I Said’ and ‘My name Is Ruin’ but there is still a great deal of work to do.
The main album recording is due to be completed in April, with the extra tracks required for giveaways and potential single B-Sides are due to be finished in May, with mixing and mastering also taking place in May.
The sleeve design and photography will, again, be taking place in May at some point.
This is an interesting time for Gary Numan fans as he been more open about his life and his music in the past few years which in my opinion has brought him closer to his fans and it certainly didn’t hurt that his last album “Splinter” has a been a great success and one of his best.
Due to family illness John Foxx will not be able to play at this event. A great shame. I hope they get better soon.
It seems that a new support band will playing in the place of John Foxx. They are The Gang of Four.
The next time you bite into a burger, do not be surprised if you taste the rainbow. American farmers have been secretly feeding rejected Skittles to their cows as an alternative to grass or corn. The great Skittles cowspiracy was brought to light after thousands of Red Skittles, bereft of their signature S, were found scattered across a rural road in Wisconsin. The X File was closed relatively quickly as experts asserted that these Skittles were likely en route to a cattle troth.
Although Skittles are packed with high fructose corn syrup, as so many foods are, they are nonetheless cheaper than the real thing and surprisingly more nutritious, at least according to some experts. Joseph Watson, owner of United Livestock Commodities, said that sweets like Skittles have “a higher ratio of fat [than] actually feeding them straight corn.” Skittles also may be a greener feed product than corn, simply because they would have otherwise ended up in a landfill. Instead, these candies, edible but not nearly up to the mass production standards of a multinational corporation, are converted into animal mass, meat and fat.
These particular Red Skittles, at first perplexing, were investigated and explained by local authorities. “The Skittles were confirmed to have fallen off the back of a truck,” wrote the Dodge County Sheriff’s Office. “The truck was a flatbed pickup and the Skittles were in a large box. Due to it raining at the time, the box got wet and gave way allowing the Skittles to spill out on the roadway.” While the average consumer has no idea that they may be eating candy-fed sirloin, this practice has been ongoing for several years. The use of this diet is believed to increased in 2012, when corn prices increased dramatically. This particular absurdity of growing corn to make the candy to feed the cows to make the burgers, while entertaining, is another sign that our food system has become disconnected from natural cycles.
To the citizens of the United States of America, in light of your failure to elect a competent President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective today.
Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II resumes monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories. Except Utah, which she does not fancy.
Your new prime minister (The Right Honourable Theresa May, MP for the 97.8% of you who have, until now, been unaware there’s a world outside your borders) will appoint a minister for America. Congress and the Senate are disbanded. A questionnaire circulated next year will determine whether any of you noticed.
To aid your transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:
- Look up “revocation” in the Oxford English Dictionary. Check “aluminium” in the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you pronounce it. The letter ‘U’ will be reinstated in words such as ‘favour’ and ‘neighbour’. Likewise you will learn to spell ‘doughnut’ without skipping half the letters. Generally, you should raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. Look up “vocabulary.” Using the same twenty seven words interspersed with filler noises such as “like” and “you know” is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. Look up “interspersed.” There will be no more ‘bleeps’ in the Jerry Springer show. If you’re not old enough to cope with bad language then you should not have chat shows.
There is no such thing as “US English.” We’ll let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take account of the reinstated letter ‘u’.
You should learn to distinguish English and Australian accents. It really isn’t that hard. English accents are not limited to cockney, upper-class twit or Mancunian (Daphne in Frasier). Scottish dramas such as ‘Taggart’ will no longer be broadcast with subtitles.You must learn that there is no such place as Devonshire in England. The name of the county is “Devon.” If you persist in calling it Devonshire, all American States will become “shires” e.g. Texasshire Floridashire, Louisianashire.
You should relearn your original national anthem, “God Save The Queen”, but only after fully carrying out task 1.
You should stop playing American “football.” There’s only one kind of football. What you call American “football” is not a very good game. The 2.1% of you aware there is a world outside your borders may have noticed no one else plays “American” football. You should instead play proper football. Initially, it would be best if you played with the girls. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which is similar to American “football”, but does not involve stopping for a rest every two seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like nancies) You should stop playing baseball. It’s not reasonable to host event called the ‘World Series’ for a game which is not played outside of America. Instead of baseball, you will be allowed to play a girls’ game called “rounders,” which is baseball without fancy team stripe, oversized gloves, collector cards or hotdogs.
You will no longer be allowed to own or carry guns, or anything more dangerous in public than a vegetable peeler. Because you are not sensible enough to handle potentially dangerous items, you need a permit to carry a vegetable peeler.
July 4th is no longer a public holiday. November 2nd will be a new national holiday. It will be called “Indecisive Day.”
All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and it is for your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean. All road intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left. At the same time, you will go metric without the benefit of conversion tables. Roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.
Learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips. Fries aren’t French, they’re Belgian though 97.8% of you (including the guy who discovered fries while in Europe) are not aware of a country called Belgium. Potato chips are properly called “crisps.” Real chips are thick cut and fried in animal fat. The traditional accompaniment to chips is beer which should be served warm and flat.
The cold tasteless stuff you call beer is actually lager. Only proper British Bitter will be referred to as “beer.” Substances once known as “American Beer” will henceforth be referred to as “Near-Frozen Gnat’s Urine,” except for the product of the American Budweiser company which will be called “Weak Near-Frozen Gnat’s Urine.” This will allow true Budweiser (as manufactured for the last 1000 years in Pilsen, Czech Republic) to be sold without risk of confusion.
The UK will harmonise petrol prices (or “Gasoline,” as you will be permitted to keep calling it) for those of the former USA, adopting UK petrol prices (roughly $6/US gallon, get used to it).
Learn to resolve personal issues without guns, lawyers or therapists. That you need many lawyers and therapists shows you’re not adult enough to be independent. If you’re not adult enough to sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist, you’re not grown up enough to handle a gun.
Please tell us who killed JFK. It’s been driving us crazy.
Tax collectors from Her Majesty’s Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all revenues due (backdated to 1776).
Thank you for your co-operation.
- John Cleese [Basil Fawlty, Fawlty Towers, Sir Lancelot of Camelot (Monty Python & The Quest for the Holy Grail), Torquay, Devon, England]
This Public Service Announcement Has Been Brought To You By Your Friends At C.O.G. Inc.
The Pepper figure is here. Sideshow have a preview video for you to see just what a good job they’ve made.
If anybody can remember the BBC shows she did then you will certainly remember hey Mickey. Anybody know where a copy of them can be found?
They were played to death in our house when we recorded them at the time.
Well I’m a little older again. Thank you to everyone who celebrated with me. Of course there can’t be a Birthday without Birthday cake.
My talented sister flexed her baking skills yet again and came up with a great old school video games cake. On top of course is Pong (the one that started it all) along with Tetris, Space Invaders and Pac-Man. It even tasted nice. Chocolate cream sponge yum.